The topic of woman haters, women who hate being women, came up the other night while my husband and I were having our usual evening discussion over dinner. Sometimes these discussions are simply sharing the adventures of our days on the farm. But sometimes they are quite therapeutic for me. When I am developing a new idea or vision, I need to get it out into daylight from the dark insides of my head. I want to take a really good look at it and clarify it. He helps me do that by being an excellent listener.
On this particular evening, I was expressing a thought I had been working on for some time. And that thought is many women hate being women. Feminists even came up with a completely different word. That’s why they needed to invent the term feminist? The idea that we needed to come up with a different word exhibits a deep lack of knowledge of what it means to be a woman. It demonstrates that the originators of the term feminist felt the need to distance themselves from the root issue – that they are women.
The feminist approach to “gaining their rights”, even from the beginning, entailed having to wrest it away from men. The method of gaining “women’s rights” was approached via asking — or actually demanding that men give them rights. This approach presupposes that they did not think that being a woman gave them the ability to think creatively in a way that only a woman can. It presupposed the idea that women were stuck with their lot in life and it sucked because they couldn’t do the things that men were allowed to do. They truly believed that doing “man stuff” would make them feel empowered. If they were “equal” to men, they would be empowered.
And don’t get me wrong, I think that doing “man stuff” is fine and dandy. I’ve worked in traditionally male dominated fields all my life. I have a career. It’s great. But that is not what gives me the right to be a woman.
Today, there has been a complete coup in being able to do anything a man can do. Women today can do just about anything they want. In reality, this war has been won. But here’s the rub. These feminists still believe that they must ask men for more. They still believe they are oppressed. And they still believe they need to get more stuff from men. It has been, from the very beginning, defining themselves as women based on how much man stuff they would be allowed to do — allowed to do by men. Completely flawed logic. And the fact that they still think they need to demand more tells me that they know nothing of being satisfied as a woman. Can you see that they entered into the discussion from the perspective of actually being subjective and under, or beneath men? They entered the discussion asking for permission from men. They know nothing of being an empowered woman.
And I want to put a caveat in here. There are lots of things that these prior feminist approaches have brought to women that they truly did not have before. It is an historical fact that in many countries, women could not inherit property. Property could only be passed from male heir to male heir. There was a time when there was little a woman could do if she made a really bad choice of husband and chose one who beat her. And with divorce being a cause for extreme ostracism, women were very reluctant to leave even the worst marriage. Yes, we are past those dark ages now. And it is time to move on.
I have no problem with those advances in civilized society. My argument is with the idea that men needed to be consulted in the first place to make that change. It was assumed that women really did have no rights and that they could only receive those rights from men. This flawed argument still exists today. Women are still asking, yeah verily, demanding other people give them rights. They demand power from others. They demand the power to make other people see that they are powerful. It’s a complete circle. And in the end, they remain powerless. They remain powerless because they do not really know what it means to be a woman.