Naive Pregnant Teens
I watched a couple of YouTube videos with naïve pregnant teens and then I couldn’t sleep last night. One is about the girl, Maddi Runkles, not being allowed to walk in her graduation because she had broken the rules at her school and gotten herself pregnant. And while I whole-heartedly embrace her choice to have the baby and not abort it, her naivete and that of Autumn with the Students for Life group was startling to me. It chilled me to the bone.
The idea that a baby is there to support you through the hard times is the most naïve statement I think I have ever heard in my life. That baby is likely the cause of the hard times. And when hard times arrive, the last thing you want is one more thing / little person to worry about as you try to figure out how to get through it. There is apparently no understanding of the responsibility of caring for that child.
It’s all about her. It’s all about her great choice. And make no mistake it is a great choice. But her idea about what that great choice means is ludicrous. Her life will never be the same. The life of that child, should she continue to decide to keep it, will be forever affected. And by choosing to keep the child, rather than giving it up for adoption, she is making a choice detrimental to the child’s welfare in deference to her own naïve idea of what it means to be a mother, and a parent. That is according to current statistics.
One question I have is, “where is her father? Not the baby’s father. The pregnant teen’s father. This is one of the greatest issues that leads to pregnancy out of wedlock. The absence of the father. And yes, I heard that her father was on the board of the school. But just because he was in the vicinity doesn’t mean he knew her. It doesn’t mean that he was aware that she was having issues with her hormones and might be making poor choices. It doesn’t mean that he paid attention to her and he certainly didn’t intervene to reinforce the message that having a family is a well-thought out decision, to be made over the course of several years of planning.
And should she choose to keep her baby, and I did hear no mention of marriage, and I’ll get to why that is not a good choice in a moment, but should she choose to keep her baby, without a father, she’s setting up a continuation of the same circumstance.
Now on to Mom’s role. You know that the Cinderella story is a fairy tale, right? But somewhere, somehow, your daughter did not get the message that there is a lot that goes on after the “happily ever after” ending to that story. This is a common mistake that moms make with their daughters. They fail to bring reality to their daughter’s minds as they reach maturity. It is time to put aside those Cinderella dreams and get to the heart of what it takes to make that Cinderella story a reality. It takes work. It takes dedication to a purpose in life. It takes discipline. It takes knowing what you want in that Prince Charming. It takes developing the skill to recognize and find that Prince Charming in a world full of jerks, users and losers.
Let’s say that she does marry the father. What will their life be like? Neither are prepared for a baby. So, they must rush to become prepared. To the naïve soul this may appear exciting. And to be sure it is. But what was the other alternative?
Let’s say you’re not pregnant as a teenager. What is your life like? At the very least, you have a few years to prepare your home for a child. At the very least, you have a few years to prepare your mind for a child. At the very least you have a few years to get to know your partner. You have the space to understand how to get along with another person. You have the time to understand yourself as a person, as an adult person.
And I believe I’m speaking here to the parents of these teenagers. These teenagers do not have the experience that you have. The idea that a baby is there, by your side in times of trouble, tells you they don’t have the experience that you have. And I want to take a moment here to again applaud the choice to continue the pregnancy. But the idea that she is going to “keep her baby” is where the problem lies.
We need to set up systems, better systems, for adopting children. ADOPTION PEOPLE. ADOPTION.
- In Response to Joss Whedon’s Unlocked.
- Response to a Christian School: Not Letting a Pregnant Girl Walk at Graduation
- Fox News: The Story with Martha MacCallum: Maddi Runkles
- Home Free – Mom