One difference Between Dating and Marriage
One difference between dating and marriage is you need to know what you value and you need to have it very strongly anchored in your core. You need to be able to draw upon it at any time. Because believe me, that gorgeous person who is a real jerk or bitch is going to come along. And they will string you along. They will toy with you. They will tell you what you want to hear. You have to draw on your own strength of character and have the courage to say no. Just say no. This person does not have the qualities that I want . . . and move on. It’s not easy sometimes I know. But it is essential for your long term happiness and for the long term happiness of your future children if you have them.
It truly does take courage. But even before that it takes knowing what you value in life for yourself, for your family and for your community. Date, evaluate, discard . . . and keep going until you date, evaluate and keep. That’s the first step. There are others because you have a secondary list of things that you would like to have but may be willing to compromise depending on what else comes to the table. Date, evaluate, and discard until that gem rises to the top.
50 years from now when you are celebrating your silver anniversary with the love of your life, you will be glad you did. Once you make the commitment to never discard again, you want to be sure you will be happy in it. You will be challenged but you will be committed. And that commitment is ultimately to yourself and your values.
One difference between dating and marriage; in dating you can discard an unwanted relationship that has no future, but the whole point of marriage is never discarding – instead, learn, evolve the relationship and grow old together because you have chosen a future.