Dating, Marriage and Children Part 3
There is much more to the dating part of “dating, marriage and children” than “oh I’m going to start dating” and it’s all going to work out – somehow. Your dating will work out because of the choices your make. Those choices revolve around learning about yourself – yes self-awareness. And then being true to your Self, your morals, your code of ethics, your ideals. You must get past the “chemistry” and the false idea that “somehow it will work out”. Make a list of your goals. Make a list of what you are looking for in a life partner. Then go out and find it. Do not be discouraged by how many people you meet and discard and potential life partners. They can be friends in your life but your life partner needs to be “the one” and in order for you to recognize “the one” you need to know exactly what you are looking for and why. So take charge of your life today.
I will briefly review what I said in part 1 about chemistry. The idea that there is some kind of magic chemistry between you and another is a myth. To expand on that further, there may be a mysterious attraction. However, it could be something like no one has ever paid attention to you and now someone is paying attention to you and you feel a surge of love that someone cares for you. It does not change the fact that you have no self-love and are looking for that love in someone else. That is not going to produce what you desire. It could be that someone is listening to you and no one has ever listened to you before. That can be a very powerful experience. In reality they may only be tongue-tied and simply unable to speak and it only appears to be listening. My point is that if you rely on a mysterious “chemistry” you will never have real security in the relationship. You will have assumed many things that are likely not true. I will explain this further as we go along here. I am going to put forward the idea that “chemistry” need to be created not just found lying about or stumbled upon.
Next podcast we’ll get into the marriage and children aspect of the relationship. So I hope you’ll listen in. Even if you are not personally planning on marriage and a family, you might be able to help out a friend who is planning along those lines.